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While Patti Stanger holds firm and fast to her rule of looking “sexy” to attract a man, for our purposes, this is one truth that does not hold up in both romantic and professional approachability.
In a professional setting you might be doing your career a disservice by lowering your neckline—in a bar you might be increasing your odds at romance.
Think over-sharing, super-touchy, hard-to-shake clingers. Both behaviors are easy to see from the outside, but for many people, they’re incredibly difficult to change.
Here, a panel of relationship authorities including Bravo’s Patti Stanger, Paul Falzone, CEO of e Love, e Harmony’s Gian Gonzaga, dating coach Paulette Kouffman Sherman, author of and Match.com’s Whitney Casey help to get to the bottom of the subliminal things women do to sabotage relationships before they even start.
Once contact is made, approachability—or connectability—lies in early conversation. “The more they’re interested in a person, the less they show it.
Women often complain that they put themselves out there regularly but are rarely approached by men, whether in a social or professional setting. Whatever it takes to put your best foot forward.” In Photos: The Dating Rules Of Patti Stanger Social Behavior “Don't go out in large groups,” cautions Casey, warning against one of the most common pitfalls of women—traveling in packs.
“You practically have to have an Open For Business sign on your head,” says Casey. “Five or more women is considered a gaggle -- no man wants to walk into a chat room.” Falzone agrees that large groups of women can be intimidating to a man, who might feel he’s breaking up an otherwise good time.
Top on the list of body language mistakes that women make is crossing her arms over her chest. Kouffman Sherman adds that the arm cross is a self-protecting behavior that reveals a defensive side to your personality.
You know the pose: a woman holds her drink or a pen in one hand, her other arm is crossed over her waist, tucked under her elbow. Like Gonzaga’s “avoidant,” crossed arms are a dead give-away that you’re putting a barrier between yourself and the world. When standing, keep your arms by your side, never wrapped around your mid-section.
“Men don’t like cakey make-up,” Stanger says, while Casey’s biggest no-no is an over-glossed lip, which she compares to a “vampire fly trap.” She adds that another major fauxpas in meeting people is an overpowering scent.